Halloween Haiku

By Steven Sanders

Age 30


Waiting all night long
In this goddamn veggie patch
"Great Pumpkin", my ass.

Feel free to add your own.

MAMA GENA'S MARRIAGE MANUAL

While the premise of this book is fine and dandy, and I encourage self-improvement, is anyone but me getting tired of the "You're a Goddess/Sista/Diva/whatever!" trend that's been going on in women's literature? I'm waiting for "Ladies! Discover your inner Galactic Supreme Potentate!" "Become the Omnipotent All-God within you!" "IMAGINE THE MOST AMAZING, INSANE THING EVER! NO, BIGGER THAN THAT! MORE AMAZING! THERE YOU GO! THAT'S YOU, BABY! ALL YOU! AND ALL WOMEN EVERYWHERE!"

I mean, good Lord. If everyone has one of these things in them, maybe, just maybe, it's not that exceptional, at least not worthy of using these words, and we could just give our advice without the inane hyperbole.

Okay, I'm done griping now.

Here's a sketch I did of a Five Fists of Science robot design. After the page loads, you have to click the "click here to draw" link to see it, for some reason.

Dehydrated: In color!


Do you ever feel like your brain is capable of a lot more than it is, and you have trouble interacting with other people, because it feels like you have to swim through a lake of molasses to find words to say, and that then makes you fear any social interaction, and then freak out about social engagements?

I've been like that for the past week or so, and I just now figured out that I was dehydrated. Or rather, I knew it for a few days now, and finally did something about it, and drunk a bunch of water. I now feel sharp, with energy, and can actually be articulate and witty. Amazing. Go water!