Uberburger:The Bloodening.


Hardee's announced their new "Monster Thickburger", with the phrase "not for treehuggers". Most of the civilized portions of the United States recoiled in horror, because you know, excessive consumption of consumer crap? That's okay. Excessive consumption of food? Horrible.

My friend Dan and I saw a challenge.



Zero Hour: Arrival at Hardee's. We order, and wait for the food.



Menu Board. ~In the Hardee's~



The Burger arrives. Astute readers will note that I actually did not get the Monster Burger, but rather the 2/3 pound bacon cheeseburger. Both burgers have 2/3lbs of beef, the difference being that on the monster burger, the vegetables are replaced with two extra bacon pieces and an extra slice of cheese. I like tomatoes and lettuce, so I got that one instead. I didn't see a big difference on the gluttony front.



The eating begins. Dan had a last moment change of heart, and decided to not get one. I soldiered on.



More eating. God I'm good looking.



BEHOLD THE CARNAGE I HAVE WROUGHT!!!!!



Note the fine, surgeon-like hands, and the finesse with which they hold the burger.



You see, eating a burger than is an affront to everything sane in this world is like making love to a beautiful woman, you must approach her with...with..

I have no idea what I'm talking about here.



Note the child-like joy eating this has brought. Lesser men strive for years to find this degree of satisfaction.



This is me making more faces while I'm eating. I'm running out of vaguely funny comments to add to this crap.



Ditto.



Down to the final bite.



Savoring the last moment of this experience.



BAM!



Contrary to what I expected, I find I can eat more food 4 hours later.


I thank Dan for his picture taking.